Q & A: TYNE BRIDGE MORRIS
Q: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A: A good wooden floor and a perfectly fitting sports bra.
Q: What are your greatest fears?
A: Cobbles and running out of kit material.
Q: With which historical figure do you most identify?
A: Sarah Bernhart.
Q: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
A: Discussing kit.
Q: What is the trait you most deplore in other teams?
A: Twee, fussy kit.
Q: What objects do you always carry with you?
A: Safety pins and a dragon.
Q: What is your most embarrassing moment?
A: Our solicitor won’t allow us to tell you – but it does involve kit.
Q: What makes you depressed?
A: Discussing kit.
Q: Do you believe in monogamy?
A: No. Nobody ever wants to be the banker, it takes too long, there’s always arguments about the rules and you always get
stuck with the Old Kent Road.
Q: What is your favourite book?
A: Karen’s diary.
Q: How do you relax?
A: By taking off our clogs, and not discussing kit.
Q: What is your favourite fantasy?
A: Never having to discuss kit.
Q: How did you vote in the last election?
A: Individually
Q: How will you vote in the next election?
A: One by one
Q: Who or what is the greatest love of your life?
A: Anyone who can provide a 50m bolt of dark blue needlecord
Q: Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
A: «What’s next?», «Where do I stand in this one?» and «About the kit»
Q: How often do you have sex?
A: Don’t be daft – have you seen our kit?
Q: What would your motto be?
A: Quis pedem primus? (What foot do we start on?)
Q: What keeps you awake at night?
A: Thinking about kit
Q: Which living person do you most admire?
A: Sadie the Bra Lady
Q: What is your favourite word?
A: Musicalinterlude.
Q: How would you like to die?
A: Better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow
Q: How would you like to be remembered?
A: «They had nice kit»
Q: When and where were you happiest?
A: On top of Old Smokie, not talking about kit
Q: Do you believe in reincarnation?
A: Come again?
Q: What is your most unappealing habit?
A: Talking about kit.
Q: What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
A: Always remember your collecting bucket, sports bra and safety pins.